Children..... Either you have some or you know some. My sister-in-law, who does not have any children of her own, has the BEST role in my kids lives. She gets to be the "all fun, all the time" person in their lives. Few rules, great adventures, lots of junk food and staying up late. They love it when they get to sleepover at her house or when she takes them out shopping, one-on-one. She is the first person they run to at family gatherings and the last person they want to leave. I love it that they have someone like that in their lives.
My role in their lives is a little more authoritative. My husband and I have to maintain order, provide direction, cast long-term vision. We have to work at building household unity and positive sibling relations. We are the keepers of the checkbook (jeez are they expensive little buggers) and the taxi drivers that never turn the meter on. This is a role we take very seriously and one that is just as important for our children as their fun-loving aunt's role is in their lives.
I am reflecting on this because my "baby" is having his birthday today. He has lost both of his two front teeth this past week and since the start of 1st grade just a few weeks ago, he is blowing me away with the amount of knowledge he carries around in that little head of his. My older two, who have also had birthdays in the last month and a half, are also taking huge steps up the maturity ladder. I feel like I need to move, and increase, the safety nets under them so that they will still be alright when they fall from their new heights. But I also know that they will grow from each new experience and I can not protect them from everything. Our greatest life lessons usually come from our failures. It is just as important to learn how to pick yourself up and try again.
My role is changing. As much as my husband and I need to continue doing the things I said previously, we need to adjust our expectations to fit where the kids are now. We need to help them extend their knowledge and experiences and begin to move from the "little kid" to the "maturing child" roles they now face. My sister-in-law will need to adjust to their new roles too. Her role will still be as vital in their lives, and maybe even more so, as their father and I have to continually raise the bar of expectations, and as they strive to reach it, and hopefully exceed it.
Being the adult carries a lot of responsibility. I am not quite sure how I became the "one in charge." It feels like it was not so long ago when I was able to live for myself, test my own waters, learn from my own mistakes. Then somewhere along the way that changed. It didn't happen over night, not even on the night my first baby was born. I think it snuck up on me as she has grown. The older she gets (she is an "official" teenager now) the more attentive I have to be about the things I say and the example I am being. She has begin to scrutinize every thing I do. I know she is developing her understanding of the mothering role and it will shape the mother she becomes. It may help to shape the "fun aunt" role she may have the privilege of playing some day.
So I sit here in the quiet early morning hours, moments away from breaking the silence that has settled over my house and I am thankful. I am thankful for the blessing of children. My children, my nephews, the children I have helped raise over the years I have been in education. I am thankful for the parents that work so hard to provide a good life for their children. I am thankful for the single parents that work extra hard. I am thankful for the aunts and uncles, the single adults, the couples without children, that play significant roles in the lives of so many children.
My prayer today is that God will continue to bless my healthy, happy, growing children. I pray that I will be the mother they need me to be. I pray that they will forgive me when I screw up. I pray that we will have strong relationships as they get older. I pray that every adult that plays an important role in the life of a child knows how much they are needed and appreciated. I pray that we will all look to our Heavenly Father for direction and as a role model for quality parenting: Unconditional Love, Forgiveness, Acceptance, Guidance, High Expectations supported through Grace.
Until We Meet Again,
Drea
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